Sunday, December 4, 2011

P.e.r.f.e.c.t! Just perfect!

I hate to put it into writing. 
It sounds

But hear me out.

I am the perfect parent.

Actually, a more accurate statement is that 
I am the perfect parent for 8 specific children.
(I still shake my head in wonder when I think that I am the Blessed Mama to 8!)

But oddly enough, I don't think I am. Perfect, that is.

I think my inability to do math accurately, 
even when I'm not working on it upside-down from the other side of the table, 
hinders my SuperMom status.

You see, my forgetting that she can't take that particular lunch box to her particular school makes me a failure in the Mom Department.

My short temper when one of the kids makes some minor mistake 
disqualifies me for the Mother-of-the-Year Award...again.

I didn't remember to have them memorize their verse this week. Fail.
We didn't review the multiplication tables while driving to the grocery. Fail.
I didn't bring my camera to this once-in-a-lifetime event. Fail.
I forgot to text him after his exam. Fail.
I asked Daddy to take care of a discipline issue instead of just dealing with it. Fail.
I proactively bought her a favorite candy...but that's not the one she likes. Fail.

The fact that I didn't realize this one has laziness issues, and that one had self-esteem issues, and their sibling has an underlying critical attitude, on...and so on...until it busts me in the chops and now, it's ingrained in their personality, and how am I going to work on that when I should have dealt with it when they were much younger, but I didn't recognize it since I was so busy with...

I thought I was supposed to be the perfect mother???

It really all goes back to whether or not I believe that 
God, the Creator of All Things in Derschdom and Elsewhere, 
was in charge when He put me in charge of our small herd. 

Did He realize that the Tuesday before Thanksgiving was going to be very difficult, and I wasn't going to be a very good Mommy, back when He chose Beth to join us? Did He know that I wasn't going to be very much help in the Algebra Department when He put an extra dose of Brains in some of our kids? And that I am not excessively tolerant of noise when He slid a ChatterBox in our midst? Did He think it was a great joke to know I would be overwhelmed with what He asked me to do some days, and I would be overwhelmed by what I thought He was asking me to accomplish (even when He wasn't) most other days? 

Each of our kids have traits that "clash" with my being a perfect parent. 
As I have fondly said before, "There wasn't any chlorine in the gene pools any of our kids came from."

But God knew all that when He chose Mark and I to be the stewards of these particular kids.
He knew what cranked my buttons, and snapped my head the wrong way, and He knew where I could excel on my own, and where I'd have to be so.very.dependent on Him in others. 

He set me up to be the perfect parent, because it was His design;
He only does perfect. 

Do I believe that today
with all it's great memories, 
and all it's difficult news, 
with all the troubles,
as well as the joys,
the mind-boggling messes,
and the sink-to-my-knees grateful moments

Is in His Hands?

Can I live like I know that?
Can I be assured that as I mature as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as (you name it)...that 
He not only planned for this moment in my life, but He also prepared me for it?

What about the stuff you don't feel prepared for? 
Hmmm. There's that word that makes itself seem so very real, when it truly isn't: feel
Just because I feel like a good mom today, it doesn't mean I was. 
Just because I might feel like a not-so-good mom tomorrow, won't make it true.

You truly are the perfect parent as you follow God, imitate His parenting, and believe He relegated today's parenting tasks to the exact parent He wanted in your kids' lives.

Realizing simply my one weakness.

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