Saturday, September 3, 2011

When You Know Better...

I am enjoying the idea of my blog WAY too much. I talk to you people in my head, all day.
I'm not sure if it's therapeutic or psychopathic. 
Either way, I still do it.

The trouble is...I forget. 
I'd like to say, I get interrupted by a child in my busy life and forget,
but the truth is I just forget. 
In those moments of, "What was that really cool thought I was pondering in the car?" or the "I'd like to share that insight in a post, if I could remember it," I give credit to the Holy Spirit. I believe He removes those thoughts from my head so you don't have to wade through them.

One thought that remains came from a couple of situations that occurred this week. 
Of course, they happened the same afternoon, because 
we can't spread out stupidity.
It kind of clumps at our house.

The following is purposely vague:
In more than one incident, one of the kids older than Maylin (that narrows the choice to 7) chose a plan of action (that deletes the one kid that never plans) that put Maylin in a precarious situation (physically or emotionally) after they came home from school (which means the oldest 3 cannot be implicated since they are at college during the week.) I'd love to regal you with the amazing events, but let's just say, the 'rents were mad.
Real mad.

One of the thoughtless choices involved Lucy, the huge barking mass of scary dog that loves Asians  people, and the other involved the pool. As Mark and I swapped stories of
"Why would your kid do that?" the obvious occurred to me:

I prefer to take the maternal position that they weren't attempting to sabotage all good things in our family, they were just being short-sighted kids who weren't considering the long-term consequences of their actions.

Seems like such kid things to do (which we recognized after the steam boiled off Mark and me)
After all, they're kids. 
I'd tell you they are 10 and 11, but you might figure out which of the kids were specifically involved.

I honestly thought, When will they figure out why those were stupid poor choices? 
I instantly heard, "When they're about 47 years old, Dorothy."

It may have been the Holy Spirit, but it sounded a lot like my mom inside my head.
Mom says our Grandmother would tell her 
(when my mother would be frustrated with her own precious children,) 
"You can't put old heads on young shoulders, Marilyn."
Why do two year olds put toys down the toilet? Because they can. They can't materialize in their heads that this has consequences that will take up your time, energy, and sometimes money. It's just cool to them.

Why do teens text while driving? They have not made the personal connection between that behavior and the fatal consequences possible.

Why do 5 year olds use permanent marker on things upon which you do not desire to have their signature? They, too,  have not made the personal connection between that behavior and the fatal consequences possible.

They need life experiences to make them as smart as us. 
How are they going to get it? 

My dad frequently said,When you know better, you do better.
There is a fair amount of hope in that statement.

For a parent, when we recognize there is a lack of knowledge, therefore an inability (not always a lack of desire to do right, or even rebellion) to make "the adult" choice, it takes some of the tension out of the issue. We can help "cure them of stupid" with loving instruction. We won't always be able to make choices for them, but we can encourage and train them to think before they act.

For the child, the hope in that statement comes from the fact that someone believes you are capable of different. You are not stuck in a never ending pathway of stupid. Someone thinks you can grow and learn and do better next time. That thought encourages me when someone speaks it into my life.

So, the "take-home idea" here is that our kids are kids
I am just so stinkin' smart sometimes, aren't I?

To my friend B, Betty Cakes may actually be my one weakness.

And Oh, Oh, Oh!! Flowers all over today (after that not-so-good day) and I will certainly tell you about them soon!!!

1 comment:

  1. "...they weren't attempting to sabotage all good things in our family." :-)

    "Someone believes you are capable of different"... love that thought. and love hearing quotes from your mom and dad. Say hello to your mom for me!