Wo Ai Ni, Dear One

To the Daughter we will soon meet,                                                                         September 2010

So, why did I feel the desire to bring you home? 

What was it in my heart that told me our 

already-full home 

didn’t only have room for you, but it needed you?

I am not sure I can define why, but I will explain how, the best I can.

After our first two weeks teaching in Inner Mongolia (August 2007), 

I was actually a little relieved that 

I could see beautiful Chinese children, 

I could teach marvelous Chinese kids, 

and I could fall in love with new Chinese friends, 

yet not feel like we needed to bring one of them home. 

In some ways, I wanted to bring them all home...

but I knew these bright and loving kids I had fallen in love with already had 

homes, 

and parents, 

and a place in life.

When I came home after teaching in August 2008 and 2009, I was again 

a little pleased with myself
that we had united our hearts with 

the Wonders of China 

a second and third time and I was perfectly content to love friends there.
(relieved exhale!) 

I know it was the month of October when, 

as I prayed for the children in my previous years' classes, 

I heard the whisper that there was a Chinese child that belonged to our hearts forever. 

I smiled and confidently confided in God that all those students in our classrooms would be in our hearts forever. 

 (Silly God! Of course I'd love those kids forever.)

He gently said, Not just those children. Your child.”

“Oh,” I (excitedly) reasoned with Him, “You are going to give us Chinese grandchildren one day!” 

Will it be through my kids’ adopting, (oh, so fun!)

or maybe one of our kids will marry a Chinese and our grandkids will be part-Chinese, I figured!

Silence. 

“Do You mean 

You have a child for Mark and I to adopt, 

and love, 

and bring into this family, now?” 

And He confirmed just that. 

I guess you were born in my heart that day.
Just like many pregnancies, the daddy didn’t know as soon as the momma did! But God gave Daddy his own story that he can tell about how God worked in his heart, and when you were born there.       

I know God is fully directing this. 

But, I wonder. I have to admit, I worry a little. 

In the winter months, I have prayed that you would be warm and that you would have 

enough to eat each day. 

I worry that it will be so difficult for you to move to America. 

I worry that you will be leaving people you love, and have known most of your life. 

I wonder how hard it would be for Benjamin, or Elizabeth, or Matthew to make the kind of transition we know you will have to make. 

So difficult. 

I pray that God has given you a heart that is strong, and a desire to come to America. 

I pray that He will give you an amazing ability to learn and grow and learn more! 

I pray that He will teach us how to grow with you.

In March 2010, we started the paperwork that had to be done. Dad did 

an amazing job 

of making sure it was done correctly, and as quickly as we could have it done. 

We want you home as soon as possible! And now, with all the paperwork in China, we can begin to look for you on the lists of children that are adoptable. 

I am certain we will know you when we see you. I hope you feel the same.
Already, Wo Ai Ni, Dear Daughter.