Monday, August 15, 2011

Days When the Flowers aren't Easy to See

Sometimes we need 

Perspective has been defined as:

a : the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed  
<places the issues in proper perspective>;
b : the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance 
<trying to maintain my perspective>
The Troubles we each have are real enough, aren't they? 
But sometimes, I think I get bogged down a bit in the troubles (and even occasionally, the joys) that seem so much a part of my world that I forget that there is a bigger world
On Sunday, I asked God to keep my vision off "only us"
while we become this new family, 
while we get our new rhythm
It's just so easy for me to get myopic.
I mean, I realize that my primary focus needs to be on those under my own roof, and that I am called to be the momma of many for this time, but I'm wary that I will get sucked into my own little world (ever-expanding as it is!) and I just don't want to BE that small.
I hummed Brandon Heath's
Give Me Your Eyes
through much of our China Adventures. 
While bringing home Maylin was intensely personal, 
I didn't want this new experience to be about "only us."
All that to say, a friend had an immense loss today, and 
sharing in her pain helps put  
my life in perspective.

Maylin's screaming at the pediatrician visit today? problem.
Her temper when she thought Beth mistreated her? problem.
The achy head from messin' with my time zones? problem.
The overheating pool pump?
The increased price of my favorite fabric softener?
The missing school forms?
The milk spilled on the newly-mopped floor?

With a renewed "capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance," I have to admit that my tone is telling the kids more than I think my voice is. A 10 year old let loose in the kitchen certainly needs to be more careful, and she does need to clean up after herself, and she ought to cream the butter and sugar first before she adds the eggs...but can I instruct her on ONE of those today, and deal with the other items later? Maybe I could read through the recipe with her instead of finishing the folding and sighing that I'd be "there in a minute." 

EVERY mother I have ever read or talked to that has suffered the death of her child bemoans the lost moments when she could have injected joy into life with her child. I think of that when I'm at a loss in training these young hearts. 
I sincerely believe personal growth requires
"delight and struggle" (Charlotte Mason) 
but do I allow room for great delight in their days after I've seen the struggle? 

I guess my challenge to me today was to have discernment in what things are "character builders" or are "character breakers." 
Living in the moment, but choosing to focus on the big picture, not the moment.

Because, I am not raising children. I'm raising adults.

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