Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Other Side of Expectations

So, how is Derschdom on 8.27.11?

Wouldn't you like to be able to ask Maylin that?
I'd love to be able to get inside her head for just a little bit and figure out how she is processing this adoption/moving to the "new orphanage"/family life thing.

It's interesting to watch her form different relationships with each of us. 
She has 9 people in her family, 
and a b'zillion people that kinda' live here, 
plus the friends we see on a regular basis at 
church, and
other places.

She has lots of relationships into which she will invest--
which also means she has lots of people who will be investing in her.

There are already methods of communication that she expects with me. 
I don't deal well with "whiny voice," or "limp noodles."
(okay, "I don't deal well" actually translates into "I will train out of you."
Maylin tries those tactics with me, but abandons them sooner than later. 
Smart girl. 
She was adorably sweet and loving with me on Friday,
with lots of unsolicited hugs, wo ai ni 
(spoken, "whoa eye knee" and means I love you) and multi-kisses.

Maylin asks for BaBa more than once every work day...
She is satisfied with, "BaBa is at work," as if she has a clue what I'm saying. 
When Daddy arrives home, she is "much more afraid of Lucy" 
until he doesn't buy the act, and makes her deal with Lucy just like I have.
She loves to get him to throw her around, and make her giggle.
Daddy has figured out that he gets to do that at 6pm, not at 8pm.
Apparently, adrenaline makes bedtime a little more difficult.

With the 4 oldest siblings, Maylin likes to be hauled around 
while she directs the activities and places
  where they, her loyal subjects, will amuse her.
With the three oldest boys, but especially Austin, 
she mocks words just to tease.
It's difficult to have a serious conversation with anyone 
while the Parrot is cackling your words back at you.

Ben is doing a great job nurturing and teaching as opportunity permits. 
He does get a little aggressive in trying to continue 
the lesson after she's lost interest (which is pretty quickly right now.)

 Beth and Maylin are still jockeying for Alpha Female
(as if we don't already have two of those around here.)
Beth enjoys mothering; Maylin enjoys being babied. 
It's a symbiotic relationship until the "Baby" gets demanding, and the "Mother" quits.
(BOY, do I empathize with Beth on that one!!)

Matthew isn't large enough to tote her around so his usefulness is 
relegated to being Finder of Fun Toys 
(which she then gets to whine about wanting.)
He's sweet about it, and he's learning to be kind while maintaining boundaries. 
Well, kind of. 
At least, he's trying.

The Lucy-Maylin saga is creeping forward in a positive direction.
Maylin was in Justin's arms when he squatted to pat Lucy, and
Maylin volunteered a tentative touch and was satisfied.
Lucy was free-roaming in the house all day today, and Maylin only had a couple issues. 
She's almost proud of herself for walking by her, until Lucy turns to look at Maylin, then she gets a little anxious. (the girl, not the dog)
Today marks two weeks that we've been home.
That was my sort-of goal for First Contact.

She's been very uncomfortable when we have stopped at people's homes. 
Not sure what that is. I'll update you when I get a grip on that.

So, the always-analyzing-Momma (which actually is a laugh since I was NOT blessed with that skill as a natural "hardwire" in my brain. Really. Ask the men in my family.) can see how God is peaking Maylin's learning curve with our varied styles of interaction.

I am good at seeing where the situation is heading and steering us in a more desirable course.
Mark is great at making her "use her words" for every. stinking. thing. 
Jon and Justin have agendas in getting her to touch the animals, as well as nurturing her.
Anne is learning Mandarin and will hopefully help keep Maylin's first language functional while she learns English.
In mocking Austin, her mouth is coincidentally learning how to form the sounds she will be needing for English, as well as building a silly-bond that is needed for all relationships with Austin.
Ben looks up words on GoogleTranslate (|zh-CN|wo%20ai%20ni) to help communicate with Maylin. He tries to reach into her world while we often try to pull her into ours.
Beth spends hours toting her in the pool, and is stretching her in sharing.
Matthew is Finder of Fun Toys. What else do we want from him?!

It seems like Maylin is really doing well.
She is still not a morning person (which means we'll have two females vying for AlphaGrouch one of these days) She sees photos of her orphanage friends and excitedly tells us their names.Yet, when
a Chinese friend used the word "orphanage" in conversation about our buying and donating shoes (to an orphanage in Honduras,) Maylin shut down. She is obedient about things I assume she'll argue with me about, while she picks an apparently random issue about which to have a meltdown.

Pretty much a regular kid, don't you think?

And FYI: Don't compete with us. We rock at charades.

1 comment:

  1. Pretty sure this is the most well-timed blog post ever. I was just thinking of you guys last night, wondering how each of you was doing and telling myself that I shouldn't call because I'm sure you're busy settling your mom, starting school, etc, etc. And then this morning I got my answer. Thanks for posting this!

    Still smiling about... the Parrot cackling back at you, your two girls vying for Alpha Female, Ben on google translate, and the fact that I can see and hear your husband telling Maylin to use her words. :)